Familes need fathers, but do we need this?

Monday May 12, 2008

Believe it or not, says Simon Hills, fatherhood has been around for some time. So what’s the point of dad.info?

There has risen up from the depths of online opportunism a weird organisation called dad.info, which suggests fathers-to-be listen to baby in the womb, bond with children, stay healthy – no smoking, plenty of exercise, that sort of thing – and trades in clichés such as “It’s easy to sink into slobbery once you’ve had a child”.

The question is: why?

It might have escaped their notice, but fatherhood has been around for some time. I certainly had a dad myself, and he had one, too. And as far as I know Grandad was the product of a father as well as mother.

Without any intercession from a bunch of know-alls who have the arrogance to set themselves up as being party to information that has somehow alluded the rest of us, each brought up their sons and daughters to be law-abiding, funny, charming, useful members of society – even if one or two had a penchant for the horses and were partial to one snort too many over a lunchtime.

‘Dads’ – God forbid that they should be called anything so un-modern as fathers – were free, in other words, to bring up their children as they saw fit. They were not expected to imbibe such tosh as: “From three to four months old it is worth introducing games. Do this in a way that is active and engaged (rather than just observing)”.

Says who? Self-serving writers who can see a way of screwing money out of issuing, through maternity hospitals and other outlets, ‘free’ Dad cards (as if anyone would be prepared to pay for them).

What if we don’t do it? Are we to be arrested if we don’t adopt the guidelines as laid out by dad.info.com? Marched in front of a team of social workers for failing to follow their tips for ‘boosting’ their baby’s brainpower, or for not putting their head to the womb and talking to their baby to be?

What if we want to do what dads traditionally did with their children: sit them on our laps while we smoke a pipe and read them a story; send them down to the shop to buy a paper and a bag of sweets for going; ensure that they are ever-so-slightly afraid of us; drive them out to the pub and leave them outside with a Coca-Cola and a packet of crisps.

We’d be better served if dad.info addresses the fact that it’s now our offspring who will go into a child-friendly pub for a Coke and game of pool, while their parents are left to sit outside with a pint and a fag.

Simon Hills is associate editor of The Times Magazine and author of Strictly No! How We’re Being Overrun by the Nanny State (Mainstream Publishing)

Link
Dad Info