No kissing this Christmas

Thursday December 22, 2011

The one ‘m’ missing this recessionary Christmas is not ‘merry’ but ‘mistletoe’ mourns Dennis Hayes

In New York they fear a kiss-off Christmas as mistletoe is in short supply. In London there certainly will be a kiss-off Christmas but not because of a mistletoe shortage. In the forests and woods around the capital, mistletoe abounds.

In Britain it’s political correctness that has killed kissing at Christmas. As we are sickened by sentimental seasonal songs that mention the green parasite – “Hangin’ Around the Mistletoe,” “Under the Mistletoe,” and most notably Cliff Richard’s mawkish “Christmas time, Mistletoe and Wine!” we forget that mistletoe has vanished from offices, shops, restaurants and even parties at home. What was once an excuse for men and women to have a kiss, whether welcome or not, has been slowly weeded out by PC consciousness and neo-Victorian feminist attitudes to the body. They should remember this; a kiss is just a kiss.

It is almost as if mistletoe has been banned for fear that it is license for seasonal sexual harassment. But in truth there is no need for bans as we usually police ourselves in these politically correct times.

Did I commit an unintentional thought crime because I was insensitive enough not to call it the “festive season” or “Wintertide”? No doubt I will be subject to criticism for saying this, but that’s what the season is, Christmas. I say this as an unashamed atheist and humanist. Everyone can still enjoy Christmas.

Christmas at work in the past was often fun-filled, before PC miserablists took control. Now, ever anxious that self-PC policing is too liberal, many managers dare not leave things to individuals.
One invitation I saw to a “seasonal party” contained the following instructions. DO NOT drink to excess. DO NOT take illegal substances. DO NOT engage in banter; make jokes, or any inappropriate remarks about age, race, gender, religion or physical appearance. DO NOT make unwelcome advances of a sexual nature to persons of the opposite or the same sex (How you would know that the advance would be unwelcome was not explained). Without a hint of irony, the invitation ended with a hope that staff would come and have fun. Would anyone go?

When sticking Christmas stamps on your cards it is worth remembering John Stuart Mill, author of On Liberty, who was born over 200 years ago. Mill is out of fashion, but as an antidote to political correctness everyone this ‘Christmas’ should read at least his chapter “Of the Liberty of Thought and Discussion”.

Sometimes Mill sounds almost PC and he rightly condemns “what is commonly meant by intemperate discussion, namely invective, sarcasm, personality, and the like”, but his reason is that intemperate discussion may stop people listening to the arguments being put forward. Wiser by far than those who promote PC speech and behaviour in the seeming interest of furthering equality, he points out that “vituperative language” is mostly condemned by those who are defending “received opinion” against those who are “professing contrary opinions”.

The condemnation of intemperate expression of ideas is a weapon of the powerful, who are just as vituperative as they want to be, in order to deter people from criticising them. PC talk about “appropriateness” and the like is the modern expression of this powerful censoriousness. Tell no jokes, have no fun, be temperate, keep quiet and live in servitude is the message of PC miserabilists. Mill would have none of it.

Before this really becomes the season of “Wintertide”, with the word “Christmas” banned and mistletoe denounced as the material manifestation of unwelcome sexual approaches, On Liberty is something you should put in that special person’s Christmas stocking with a sprig of mistletoe. But remember, Mill is for life, not just for Christmas.

Dennis Hayes is the director of Academics for Academic Freedom